In life, I’m a pretty open-minded person. Like everyone else, I have my limits and sometimes fixed ideas about certain topics. Well, yeah! I’m not perfect—just almost perfect. But in general, I’m open to learning and very capable of taking others’ opinions into account.
And then came the moms’ groups… or should I say… the lion’s den!
I was lucky enough to find a group where people always share with respect: way to go, June 2013 Moms! But other than that… good luck!
In general, I find that among moms, people play hardball. It’s not complicated: as soon as one mom asks a question about a certain topic or another shares her experience, there are always lionesses ready to “troll” the post and crucify the poor mom who’s just trying to do her best. People brush it off as “it’s my opinion, I’m entitled to it,” but you know, when your opinion is full of judgment and contempt… just think—we could totally do without it! Because let’s be honest, that kind of “opinion” is totally unproductive. I mean, it doesn’t move anything forward at all, and it serves absolutely no purpose.
So then, I tried dipping my toes into mom groups with kids who have special needs, telling myself that these groups would be full of more open-minded people… my friend!!! It’s a real jungle! Don’t even mention grieving the loss of your “normal” child—you’ll get torn apart. Just say the word “normal”… you’ll get torn apart. And if you try to talk about the lack of services… you’ll get torn apart. In short, I feel like you can’t share anything without someone taking offense at one of your words.
Can’t we just respect each other in 2018? Even on social media? We’re already hard enough on ourselves—can’t we just not put pressure on other moms? If you don’t like a post and you don’t have anything constructive to say…can you just scroll past it? Seriously, if you know you tend to lack tact in life, I’m pretty sure you can Google “tips for expressing an opinion effectively,” and you should be just fine.
Anyway, just a little rant here! And if you find a great support group with parents of kids with different needs, let me know ✋
But you know... that’s just my opinion... I’m entitled to it!