Before I had kids, I thought I had Batman’s immune system. A sinus infection once in a while, no stomach flu, no earaches, no fever, no “ Ahhhh, why does it sting everywhere!?"
Life went on—a birth, maternity leave, and… A CHILD IN DAYCARE! Let’s talk about those first few years of daycare. It’s a real roller coaster of kids, It's a real lottery. You never know if you'll be bringing him home the next day, because your kid might wake up with his eyes stuck shut from conjunctivitis. Well, yeah, because a 2-year-old doesn't think to wash his hands after touching a little friend's face. NOP! He just rubs his two hands together. in my eyes as a result of fatigue because he didn't get enough sleep the night before. The “ "didn't get enough sleep"...it's the result of a double round of toy-sharing with his friends at daycare that ends in a cacophony of coughing at 2 a.m. Come on, let's pass our germs around, guys!
I thought I had one of the best immune systems around, but it turns out my 2-year-old gets back on his feet way faster than his old mom. A kid with the stomach flu: 2 days. A parent with the stomach flu: 1 week of DEATH
And g-a-s-t-r-i-t-i-s? NO WAY!!! We parents don't want that, and you non-parents definitely don't. Let me tell you, cleaning up your kid's vomit is kid When you're on the brink of death, it's worse than getting good old traveler's diarrhea in Mexico.
And so the cycle goes! A sick baby = a day off work for the parent. A baby who’s just gotten over being sick = germs for the parents. A sick parent = a parent who goes to work because, thanks to the germ-carrying baby, that parent has run out of sick days. A sick parent at work = employees catching germs. Employee-parents bringing the leftover germs home to their children. And Guess what ? Those kids are always bringing them back to daycare!!! And it just goes on and on…… It NEVER ends!
We could introduce a bill so that all parents with young children could benefit from a bank of sick days set aside specifically for their children and… a 50% discount on the Pedyalite, Pepto-Bismol, Tempra, probiotics… On that note, dear parents, don't forget to wash your hands!