Everyone dreams of the perfect life, and I believed in it too. I got married young and had my children young as well. I had a job and a beautiful home. But one day, something just clicked in my head. I wasn’t happy anymore; I didn’t recognize myself… I, the girl who used to be so full of life, was just going through the motions. With the kids and work, we’d forgotten about our marriage. We didn’t go out anymore, we went to bed at different times, we blamed each other, and we stopped communicating. The hardest part was being the one who initiated the breakup. I wasn’t a good mother anymore; I had no patience left for my own children because I was putting so much pressure on myself. I was left to fend for myself and cut off from all my support systems. For a year, I stayed with their dad for their sake. It was the worst thing I ever did.
It was when I realized all of this that I decided to make a change for myself… and my children would benefit from it in the end.
I had to learn how to live on my own again, because even though I’d taken care of my children almost entirely by myself for several years, they’d been taken away from me. I didn’t understand any of it. I didn’t know what to do anymore—and, above all, who I was. I’d so often stopped myself from doing things for myself so as not to seem selfish. Now that my children were with their dad, I didn’t know what to do with my free time.
Despite the separation, the other parent will always be a part of their lives. Even though there’s no longer any love between us, we’ll always be our children’s parents. Because we both love our children, we both need to make an effort to make their lives easier. It can be frustrating at times, but we really have to avoid involving the children in all of this, because they didn’t ask to have two homes.
Little by little, I’ve rebuilt my life. I’ve even allowed myself to experience happiness again. I was hesitant at first. I didn’t introduce my new partner to my children because I was afraid it wouldn’t work out… because it seemed too good to be true. After a while, I realized how lucky I was and that I wanted to share my happiness with them. It turned out to be nothing but a blessing. My new partner cares for them as if they were his own children; we now have a new home and even a little sister who will bring our family together. My children are happy, and so am I. Even though a separation may seem like a mountain to climb, everyone deserves the right to be happy!