Élody! At two months old, she responded to her name, was always smiling, (almost) never slept, and never had any growth spurts, colic, or crying spells. At three months, she started sleeping through the night in her own bed.
Léa-Pier! She still doesn't sleep through the night yet; she sleeps in my bed, and she doesn't react as much as her big sister does to her name or to sounds. She doesn't always smile; she went through a crying spree and had colic, and she sleeps all the time.
Are my children different? Oh yes! Does that mean one of them is less developed, not as good, or less intelligent? Does my baby have a developmental issue because she’s developing at a slower pace than her older sister? Is my oldest too smart compared to her friends? Is my youngest autistic because she doesn’t make eye contact with us at just a few weeks old? Is my oldest behind because a younger friend at daycare is potty-trained before she is?
No! Our children simply develop differently! Yes, my two daughters look alike on the outside, but on the inside, they’re unique and wonderful in their own way. My youngest isn’t developing as quickly intellectually, but her motor skills are quite advanced—maybe even more so. My oldest can do puzzles with many pieces, while for some of her friends, even a two-piece puzzle is difficult. Are her friends less capable than she is? Is she developing too quickly? No!
I hate those questionnaires doctors give me—asking if my kids do this or that, if she’s finally potty-trained, if she can hold her head up well, if she can draw a certain way, if she follows my voice when I talk to her. Our children don’t come with a comprehensive guide titled “What a Human Being Should Be, Step by Step.” Because at 23, without a degree or formal education, I’m far from having developed like other young people my age. I got married and have children, while they’ll be teachers, nurses, and engineers.
And that's what I want for my daughters: for them to choose their own way of life. Of course, I want them to go to college, but only when they're ready. If they want to travel first, work, or get married, they'll do so. They'll grow and develop according to their own personalities and desires.
Come on, girls! Be whoever you want to be, be unique, and find your own path! I’ll be proud of you no matter how fast you grow, and I’ll love you no matter how long it takes you to achieve your goals!
Every child develops in their own way. So no, my oldest isn't potty-trained yet—she'll be ready when she's ready. In the meantime, be proud of what she's already accomplishing! No, my youngest won't follow you with her eyes when you talk, but instead, be proud of what she can already do with her tiny little body.