I’ve already mentioned this in another post, but being a parent means dealing with everything and its opposite. All. The. Time. Being a parent means knowing how to juggle these contradictions.
Like the concept of time passing. Sometimes, the days just go by, one after another, all the same. Time seems to drag on forever. Then, all of a sudden, it hits us right in the face. BAM!
Son #1 will be 6 in a week. 6!!! He’s handsome, tall, so bright, kind, sensitive, funny, and affectionate. He talks nonstop, asks 1,001 questions, and is incredibly mischievous.
Oh, he’s far from perfect. He’s full of flaws: he talks nonstop, asks a thousand and one questions, and is incredibly mischievous (See? Contradictions!!). He’s stubborn, distracted, hyperactive, not at all tactful, and somewhat envious and moody. In short, like a mirror, he’s full of the flaws… of his father and me.
In the same five minutes, he shows me the best and the worst in me. In that same span of time, he drives me crazy and fills me with joy.
Contradictions, contradictions, contradictions…
Seeing that little plus sign on the test and barely being able to wait to hold him in my arms. Holding him in my arms and missing my baby bump…
Dreaming of sleeping for more than 3 hours straight. Waking up with a start (my breasts ready to burst) and running into the bedroom to make sure he’s still breathing. (And waking him up while checking…)
Eagerly waiting for nap time, just to get a well-deserved little break. Looking at photos and videos of the kids during that break.
Rushing around in the morning and looking forward to “settling in” at work. Arriving at work, missing the kids.
Feeling filled with pride at every bit of progress, every step toward independence with a capital I. Feeling nostalgic for those “tiny, tiny baby” moments. All at the same time.
Looking forward to the weekend at the grandparents’ house so you can finally do a thorough cleaning and take a little time for yourself. Finding the house way too empty, too clean. Yelling that they have way too many toys lying around everywhere as soon as they get back.
Feeling completely drained. Receiving a dose of love so strong, so powerful that you feel like anything is possible. That you can do anything, accomplish anything.
Start sleeping again. Fully reclaim your body. Regain a semblance of privacy. Know: experience that nameless, unimaginable pain that is childbirth...
Wanting to do it all over again.
They say love is blind. Parental love drives you crazy. A sweet, pure, beautiful, and joyful madness. The madness of feeling dangerously alive. Hooked up to an IV drip of caffeine, a bag of patience slung over your back.
Everything and its opposite—the joys and sorrows of parenthood! And you—what are your contradictions?