I’m going to make a little confession here: I feel sad. I know feelings are still a bit complicated for you, my sweet baby. I tell you a thousand times a day, I LOVE YOU, but I don’t understand your fears!
It breaks my heart because I feel helpless when I should always be there for you, no matter what you’re going through… But I don’t understand your fears!
I don’t understand your fear of falling when I want to change your diaper. You’ve never fallen! You lost your balance a little once, okay, but you’ve never fallen! Even when you’re lying right on the floor of your room, you grip the hem of my shirt and say, “No! Don’t fall! ” over and over. Is it the lying-down position? Is it the feeling of losing contact when I lift you up by your bottom? I don’t understand your fear. I’d even add that, little acrobat that you are, you have plenty of other opportunities to fall—far worse than a diaper change on the floor...
I know not all fears make sense.
Why are you scared when, while playing in a box, you close all the flaps in front of you? I mean… you’re the one closing them, so you can still see outside and you know you can get out, right? You lock yourself in closets that are much darker than your tiny box, you know! You actually find that activity particularly funny, by the way… I don’t understand your fear.
I don’t understand your fear of putting on sweaters. Often, you try to pull it off while I’m trying to put it on you… we’re not exactly working together on this one, I’ll grant you that. But what’s with this fear of getting stuck? You’ve never had clothes small enough to get stuck in! Okay, fine, maybe it’s a birth trauma… maybe… but still. All of a sudden, 24 months after you were born, you discover this phobia? I’m going to have to dig out my child psychology books, because I just don’t understand your fear.
I don’t understand your fear of losing your stuffed animal… oh wait, actually, I totally get that one.
All this to say that I don’t understand your fears, but I know they’re part of your development. Even though I often feel helpless and powerless, I’ll always try to reassure you as best I can, as calmly as possible.
I hope that later on, you’ll come to me with your fears (which I’ll understand!) so I can reassure you—and reassure myself—that I wasn’t worrying for nothing. You’ll know that I’ll always be there for you, no matter what, because I love you.