I’m one of those lucky moms who doesn’t get paid parental leave, but Dad gets it instead!
Two babies close in age, and Dad took paternity leave both times—nine months the first time and six months for our second little one. No, we’re not on perpetual “vacation.” No, we’re not just lounging around while the babies play. No, financially speaking, things aren’t great. No, we don’t get much rest. But yes, we’re happy.
We waited three years for our first baby before it finally happened. Now, we’re savoring our family. My partner is an amazing dad who helps me a lot, even with a constantly changing work schedule and no work-life balance. So having Dad on paternity leave is my little slice of heaven on Earth.
I can see in my babies’ eyes that the bond between them and Dad is strong. It’s not just with Mom that the attachment bond forms. My oldest looks for him when he’s working and celebrates when he comes home. My second child gives him big smiles when he sees him from a distance or tries to get his attention by babbling, just so he can have his own father-son moment. It’s precious.
I (almost) feel guilty for not changing enough diapers in a day. I’ll get back on track once he’s back at work, I tell myself. We find a little joy in giving baths in quick succession—one of us washing while the other gets them dressed. Cooking meals in shifts—one of us chopping while the other cooks. Getting the babies ready in sync: two shirts, two pairs of pants, four shoes, and presto! We’re off!
Yes, with Dad on paternity leave, we treated ourselves to more outings. Visiting family, walks in the woods, midweek trips to the beach, or indoor visits to museums and other attractions in the winter. It’s true that we made the most of our time, and yes, we spent entire days cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, and keeping the kids in line.
Dad being on leave is also a wonderful gift for us as a couple. We feel even closer; we don’t lose sight of each other as lovers while still complementing each other as parents. We talk to each other and understand each other; we help each other and have fun every day. We love each other. And it feels good. It feels good to be experiencing this now and to know that it’ll still be like this even when Dad is back at work, and when we have more children.
My partner, this dad on parental leave, is the greatest gift life could have given me. I’m grateful that he loves and cares for his children just as he loves and cares for me.
No, it’s not always easy.
But it’s definitely worth it.