I remember very clearly what I was thinking during my first pregnancy. I wanted a little boy so badly. No, actually, I wanted a healthy baby! But if I had a choice, I definitely wanted a boy. I wasn't afraid to say loud and clear that I wanted a boy because “I wouldn't know what to do with a girl!”
Proud tomboy that I am, getting high on soccer, the drift And with all that mechanics stuff, I couldn't imagine how I could ever have a princess. As an only child who grew up with a bunch of guys—and let's not beat around the bush here—I'm not much of a girl. Juggling between jokes a bad attitude, a higher-than-average level of sarcasm, and a job where I’m the only woman with breasts in the entire department. I really couldn’t see how I could sit on the floor playing with dolls, considering I’d never even owned one myself!
Finally, my second ultrasound for my first pregnancy. I can see him clearly on the screen—without the technician even saying a word! A BOY! Hooray! I’m bursting with joy! Cars, dinosaurs, and all that jazz! You’re joining us—already in your first week of life—and you were with me at a game from soccer !
Two years later, another little “+” on the pregnancy test. And the anxiety starts all over again! Second ultrasound—I look at the screen, but I can’t see anything! A girl? The lady asks me, “Is your first child a boy?” I shyly answer, “Yes.” “So you’ll have a little boy and girl! She’s a beautiful little girl!” A girl? Deep down, I already knew: this pregnancy was the complete opposite of the one with my son. My belly was totally different. I’d simply been in denial from the start, because when I really thought about it, it was more than obvious. At the third ultrasound, I asked the lady if it really was a girl! (As if that could have changed over the past few weeks, right?) Deep down, I was just afraid. Afraid that I wouldn’t be able to support you as you grew.
Then, after all that uncertainty, you arrived one October morning. My little chick, so tiny and yet so strong. You and your lioness-like spirit. A princess in boots at caps ! In the end, I felt an inexplicable fear at the thought of you coming into my life—only to realize that, after all, I’m so happy to have you by my side. Mom is slowly getting used to playing with dinosaurs just as much as she does with dolls.
Mom tries really hard to tie your hair just right and pick out your clothes in the morning. Mom had no reason to be afraid of you. You’re teaching me so many things I didn’t know. But making these efforts for you, sweetheart, is the greatest joy for me! We’ll figure this out together, one step at a time.
Mom loves you so much, you little rascal with a devilish temper.