When I was younger, I placed a lot of importance on the status of friendship; I felt this need to be someone for others without really understanding how it all worked… I had such a deep desire for others to love me that I was willing to do anything for them, without paying attention to my own needs… I grew up, had wonderful children, and found a supportive partner. I reassessed my priorities… I learned to be more selective, because my time had become more precious. I no longer wanted to have to explain myself, deal with complicated relationships, or face judgment; I’d learned to love myself enough to accept that some people had too many expectations of me, and I needed people who would accept me for who I am—a woman who prioritizes her family and, now, herself as well…
The best part of all this is that those who accept me as I am get to experience a better version of myself—a more nuanced, calmer version… Oh, don’t get me wrong—it’s still a version full of color; I’ll never be “beige.” But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to understand that it’s not the quantity of time we spend with someone that matters, but rather the quality.
My friends, you know who you are… I want to tell you just how wonderful you are. Sometimes I have plenty of time for you, and other times less—and you never hold it against me; I do the same. Sometimes you give me advice without judging me; when I feel like I’m off track, your words bring me back to center and soothe me. Sometimes I need to let loose on a trip or an outing; you’re always there for me, and together we create another chapter in our story of friendship. From one project to the next, from one crazy adventure to the next, from a coffee to a good glass of wine—your nonjudgmental presence, free of expectations, makes me happy.
I don’t need a label like I did when I was 14. You love me for reasons that are personal to you, and I love you back, simply, without hang-ups, without competition or obligation, because what I bring to you is unique to me, and what you bring to me, no one else could ever do… You can never ask a blue pencil to color red, and each of you, in your own way, brings a special color to my life.
As an only child, over time you’ve become more than just Mom’s friends to my children, and every day I thank life for giving me such a rich and diverse circle of friends—both for them and for me! Thank you, my friends!!! I love you!