It’s well known that all babies are different. We’re constantly reminded that every child has their own personality and that, of course, every pregnancy is different. I knew that as I set off for the maternity ward on the 2nde I’d thought about it before, but I had no idea that my two princesses would literally be like night and day.
My oldest daughter, an artist and independent soul, has always loved exploring the world. She loves sleeping in different places, making herself comfortable no matter where she goes. She has a self-confidence that I, too, had at her age. Sleeping in different places is a privilege… but not for my second daughter.
I was told I had an anxious baby; I could have easily guessed that. I can’t go to the bathroom, take a shower, or disappear from her sight for more than two seconds at a time. She always wants to be held, cries if I put her down, refuses to be held by anyone else (except my mom), and won’t let her dad hold her for very long. It’s enough to make me question my methods and techniques—is it my fault?
I was absolutely terrified of her first day at daycare. I knew this moment was inevitable, and I even told my coworkers that she needed to be held, needed reassurance, and—most importantly—couldn’t comfort herself. After those conversations, she made her debut. The result: it looks like she’s handling daycare very well. She doesn’t ask to be held, doesn’t depend on an adult, and even plays on her own.
Nighttime is always a challenge. She never sleeps deeply, wakes up calling for us in the middle of the night, and even has what seems to be (we’re waiting for an appointment at a sleep clinic!) night terrors. She sleeps with her sister, in the hope that it will calm her anxiety, but even that doesn’t work. And even when Mom sleeps with her (occasionally, when I can’t stand not getting any sleep anymore), she sometimes wakes up.
This isn’t just a whim (the 5-10-15 turns into 20-25-30-35…), and his distress is very real. My little koala needs to be held, needs hugs, kisses, and the reassurance that Mom isn’t far away. For his well-being and development, I hope this situation gets resolved quickly. I feel that once his anxiety is eased, he’ll sleep more soundly at night, and that simply knowing we’re under the same roof will be enough to let him drift off to dreamland.