"Little Mom" is the level just below "Little Lady." Listen up, girl—you don’t need to have a kid to be a "Little Mom." Oh, no way!
The “little mom” has slippers and a robe. She proudly wears this outfit in the evening, sitting comfortably in front of her TV shows. Because the “little mom”—she watches those TV shows.
The “little mom” has a slow cooker, and she uses it once a week.
She never forgets her reusable grocery bags.
She always has a tablecloth on her kitchen table.
She lets pedestrians cross, even when they don’t really have the right of way.
She carries small change and uses it to pay for small errands.
Mom has a fully stocked first-aid kit. If you feel like splitting your eyebrow by bumping into the light fixture while dancing on the kitchen table after having a little too much to drink, you might as well do it during dinner at her place.
Mom’s got all the cool little kitchen gadgets. She can squeeze you some citrus juice, make you a smoothie, cook a piece of meat on her rotisserie, and chop up veggies 156 different ways. So when you haven’t gone grocery shopping in three weeks and you don’t have money for a restaurant, just invite yourself over to her place—you’re guaranteed to have a feast.
The little lady has a feather duster.
She takes a walk every evening to the mailbox.
She drinks tea, and she actually likes it.
She still buys CDs and gossip magazines.
The little old lady has an address book, uses fabric softener, hangs her laundry to dry on a rack, and shops at big-box stores.
The little old lady buys candles, air fresheners to make her house smell nice, and 32 different kinds of cleaning products.
She reads the instructions before assembling furniture, goes to the esthetician, and wears nylon stockings in the winter.
There’s no set age for becoming a “little mom.” I don’t know when or why I became one. What scares me is that I’m heading toward the next stage: “little lady.” The one who takes afternoon naps and no longer knows how to use the TV remote. Help!