Aaaaaaah, motherhood: an endless source of debates of all kinds. Let’s face it, social media has made things worse. We compare ourselves to others, we brag, and we get torn apart.
You can’t even post a nice photo of yourself beaming with your baby without getting criticized: “That’s so not what motherhood is really like!” A mom graces the cover of a magazine in a pretty dress, with her kids dressed casually: “Pfff, being a mom isn’t like that at all! She’s putting pressure on us—we can’t look like that!”
You can’t post about how much you’re looking forward to taking a looooong hot shower without being judged: “It’s really not that bad—I shower every day, honestly!” A documentary about the challenges of modern motherhood: “Well, it just shows the bad parts! I love my kids—I’m not at my wits’ end!”
(…)
I KNOW.
The truth is, motherhood can sometimes be a bit of a mixed bag. And other times, it’s all sunshine and roses. Some babies are easy; others are more challenging. Some days everything goes smoothly; others, everything goes wrong.
It might be that one day, I’m overflowing with happiness and want to share it, to say that I love my baby to bits. That one morning, he slept in and I had time to do my hair and put on makeup, and then I took a picture of myself and posted it, just because it makes me feel good to see myself looking pretty. That doesn’t mean it’s like that every day, and it also doesn’t mean I want to lie to new moms or make them think they have to look like that every day to be considered competent.
It’s also possible that one day, I’ll decide to get something off my chest and say that my baby never sleeps and that I rarely have time for myself. That doesn’t mean I’m at my wit’s end, nor that I’m trying to discourage new parents. It just means that on that particular day, I found it long and difficult.
Ladies, is there any way we could put things into perspective sometimes? What’s easy for one mom might be harder for another—and that’s perfectly normal.
Could we be a little more empathetic? Could we just encourage the mom with unwashed hair by telling her it’s just a phase, that it’ll pass? Could we just tell the mom dressed to the nines that she looks beautiful and that we hope her happiness continues like this forever? And if you don’t feel capable of just being kind, would it be possible to simply refrain from commenting? Sometimes, silence is golden!