As of today, I’ve been a mom for four and a half years. Since then, I’ve made incredible discoveries and rediscovered what really matters. I’ve learned to respect myself even more than I did before having a child. I’ve realized that, in the end, balance and chaos can coexist perfectly, and that guilt is something that’s actually very easy to let go of… but you have to do it often!
In the summer of 2016, during a parade, as my son stood there with his eyes wide open, taking in all the colors and music, I found myself in one of those moments of wonder that every parent experiences from time to time—when you realize how much time has passed… and that I’ve forgotten so many things. I can’t remember when he said “Mommy” for the first time. I can’t remember the color of the pajamas he was wearing when we got back home. I’ve forgotten his favorite mashed potato flavor and what his first ice cream was…
So many (too many) things happen, and by the time I stop to think about them, I realize it’s almost over already. Now, as the mom of a 4-year-old boy who’s been a big brother since November 2017, here’s a list of 11 things I don’t want to forget about Baby No. 1...
- His first song. He sings all the time, my little guy… His first hit: “Bateau sur l’eau.” Today, he’s replaced it with many others. I want to remember the tone of his voice, his mischievous face, and his “one more time, Mom?” at the end of the concert!
- The 2016 fireworks. In his dad’s arms. It was scary but at the same time soooo beautiful—all those colors…
- His first “grown-up” expressions: “What’s that?!”, “Are you okay?”, “Let’s share!”
- His fascination with garbage trucks and the city of Montreal
- The way he gives me big hugs by patting my back, then cupping my face in his two little hands and giving me a big kiss!
- Resting his head in his hand, just like his dad, when he finds something long or boring… or when he’s tired.
- His little hand that used to scratch the nape of my neck when I was breastfeeding him—the one that still scratches when he’s sick and clinging to Mom, and the one that plays with my hair when he wants to feel reassured for just a couple of seconds...
- All the times he saw his dad on stage, the sadness of not being able to go join him, and the way he’d stare at him, mumbling, “Daddy, piano, guitar, bass, boom boom.”
- All the times I realized I was going to die before my time... Jumping into the water with a running start, running straight ahead even when Mommy’s far away, climbing, sliding, falling, getting back up... Go for it, my little one—keep being fearless! You’re destined for a great future with that kind of spirit… And plenty of scrapes and bruises! I’ll never be far away with my Polysporin!
- His ability to adapt—it knocks my socks off every single time (where on earth did he get that from!?! )
- His laugh… It’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard in my life…
And you, what do you want to never forget?