I'm a woman who could be described as hypersensitive. Don't believe me? Don't tell anyone, but I've actually cried while watching an episode of The Simpsons. I know, I’m pathetic. When I was little, people would often criticize me for it and make fun of me. For me, all my emotions came out through tears—whether it was anger, sadness, joy, fear… Everything! People wanted me to control those damn emotions, but have you ever tried to control your emotions while you were going through a real storm inside? It’s impossible—and above all, very inhuman.
So, my solution? I started pushing them away, those little nuisances. When my eyes started to well up, I’d try to look away, think about something else—in short, to push aside the present moment and what it was making me feel inside! Sometimes it worked, other times it didn’t. It was a sensitivity that was always just beneath the surface, threatening to burst out at the most inopportune moments.
Today, at 34, I deeply regret having used those strategies to try to control those “bad” emotions. Now, I have a hard time expressing them; I withdraw into myself until they pass. Sometimes it can take a day, or even two. This has a huge impact on my family, since I become cold and completely detached. Sometimes I manage to speak up when I know that what I say won’t affect anyone and won’t cause any conflict. But it still takes a considerable amount of effort and far too much introspection for such a small task.
Having given birth to a little gem who is now 7 years old, I see that same hypersensitivity in her. I know she’ll find it just as difficult to “manage” herself as she grows up. Of course, I’ll do my best not to suppress her emotions and to encourage her to name them. But I also know that other people’s opinions carry a lot of weight. It’s all part of learning about life!
What about you? What are your tips for managing your emotions? Is it hard to express them?