I was 7 years old when my heart stopped. In the dim light of the hallway, I witnessed a horrific scene: a baby being shaken.
This event, which I thought was buried deep in my memory, resurfaced some time after the birth of my first child.
I can still see myself, just 7 years old, moving very slowly down that hallway and catching sight, through the doorway, of someone dear to me shaking her baby, who was barely a few months old. As I witnessed the scene, I quickly rushed to find an adult to intervene. It was such a violent image—one that will remain etched in my memory forever.
When we become parents, it doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Every baby is unique and different. That’s right—a baby has its own personality, and it may happen that they cry or even throw huge tantrums. Don’t be hard on them: it’s their only way of expressing themselves and letting you know their various needs.
So, please, be patient. Put on some earplugs if you need to—it won’t last long. Maybe they’re anxious and want you to comfort them by holding them in your arms, or maybe they want you to rub their little tummy, which is hurting them terribly. This little, defenseless being needs you and needs you to be strong, because they depend on you!
So, if despite all your efforts and attempts to calm him down the situation doesn’t change and you feel your patience wearing thin: step away and breathe. Leave the room if you have to, call someone you trust so they can help you, open the door and get some fresh air, or maybe a quick drive will calm the baby.
Let’s be mindful never to cross that line, because the act I witnessed—child abuse—should never happen. Even as adults, we struggle to manage our emotions—how can we expect babies or young children to do so? These little ones have everything to learn and need us. Our role as parents is to guide them toward appropriate social behavior and help them manage their emotions. Childhood is crucial and lays the foundation for who we are today, so let’s protect and love our children.
Can’t take it anymore? Call a family member or a friend.
Don’t have anyone? Call the Parent Helpline: 1-800-361-5085.
It’s confidential, and the service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.