Summer is finally here! Vacation is coming! It’s time for festivals, potato festivals, the zoo, water parks, and… preachy articles about parents on vacation and kids in daycare. If you’re one of those people who accuse other parents of sending their kids to daycare for a few days during their vacations, this is for you. And I’m going to get right to the point: who are you, anyway, to decide for others?
You say that whenever you’re not working, you have your kids with you. You say you think it’s sad that kids spend their days at daycare while Mom cleans the house with no one underfoot. You say that you’d rather have them with you 100% of the time than send them to daycare. You insist that you didn’t have kids so that others could take care of them. That childhood goes by too fast and that you mustn’t miss a SINGLE moment, under any circumstances.
Don’t you see the inconsistency in what you’re saying, in an era when people are calling for a reduction in the mental load? We lament the fact that mothers are physically and mentally exhausted, that they have a ton of responsibilities. We remind them that they should remember they’re women as much as they’re mothers and that they should take care of themselves. And you, in all your smugness, come along and say they should never be separated from their children, not even for a single day? How can you hope for someone’s happiness when you’re implying they don’t have the right to think of themselves?
It’s great if you want to spend your days at the park or doing crafts with your kids. It’s wonderful that you prefer your children’s company to solitude, and their screams to silence. That’s you—it’s your personality—and that’s perfectly fine. But how can you possibly know what goes on in other people’s homes and what’s best for their children?
Do you know how much patience that father has right now, since he’s had his child watched so he can enjoy a hobby by himself? Do you know how exhausted that mother is—whose child doesn’t sleep through the night, who worked 60 hours the previous week, and who would love to take a nap herself, alone at home? Do you know how much a day at the spa would do this couple good—a couple who’ve been talking about nothing but bills and chores ever since they became parents?
Do you consider going grocery shopping or vacuuming while the kids watch TV to be quality family time? Using a day off to get daily chores done efficiently, so you can do activities with the kids on the weekend—I think that makes perfect sense.
What I find sad is the person who goes out of their way to post a message telling parents never to take a vacation just for themselves. What I find deplorable is that moms wear themselves out trying to do everything at once—on top of watching their kids—because they think they don’t have the right to take a break without being judged. These are the moms who compare themselves to those who devote themselves entirely to their children and feel ungrateful for even dreaming of a moment of solitude.
I know that kids need vacations, too. I agree with you 100% that it’s essential to spend time as a family and take a break from the routine for a few days—even if it’s just a week. But I also know that for many of us, a little time without the kids does us good. I’m one of those who believe that balance is possible; that we should give our children a break, but without forgetting ourselves as individuals. It’s good for our mental health to step back and do something we love, without restrictions.
So, the next time you see a parent dropping off their child at daycare to go somewhere other than work, please, could you refrain from judging? Thank you!