I sincerely believe, from the bottom of my heart, that like everything else on this beautiful planet, love evolves. If you think about it, nothing alive is exactly the same as it was yesterday: from the daisy that was once just a bud to the frog that was once just a tiny tadpole, everything changes and transforms. So I conclude that even I am no longer exactly the same as I was last week—and I’m not just talking about the two or three gray hairs that have started to appear in my once-perfect head of hair. Every day, I go through situations and experiences that change my perspective on who I am and what I love about my life. So I think it’s inevitable that the feelings I have will shift as the days go by and the seasons change.
Dear husband, I know I love you. I won’t lie: having known only one lover in my life, I’ve wondered about the change in the love I feel for you. After careful thought, my heart and mind have reached a consensus and come to the conclusion that even if the butterflies aren’t as strong as they used to be, even if I sometimes put the children’s happiness before yours, even if I don’t tell you every time we hang up the phone: I love you.
For me, as long as you’re the first person I want to tell about my day, I’ll know that I love you. As long as I smile every time you send me a little text saying “I love you,” I’ll know that I love you. As long as I’m able to let my tears flow freely in front of you, I’ll know that I love you. As long as the most comfortable place in the world is right next to you, I’ll know that I love you.
Even if I don’t tell you every time the thought crosses my mind, there’s at least one moment each day when I look at one of your ideas, one of your accomplishments, one of your feats—or even just look at you—and tell myself that I’m the luckiest woman in the world that you ever said “yes” to me. I don’t know if the butterflies are gone for good, but I don’t need them anymore. For a long time, I believed that butterflies were the undeniable sign that love is still alive. Now, I believe they’re just guides to steer us in the right direction—toward the right relationship, or at least one that will let us experience a whole range of emotions. Once they’ve done their job, they might come back once in a while to keep your rational mind from starting to analyze your other options. Even if they don’t come back, that doesn’t mean love has died—it just means it has evolved.
I’m proud of you, proud of myself, proud of us. For me, that’s enough to tell you that I love you.