Lately, I’ve been hearing this phrase a lot whenever I say my kids are different: “Yeah, but we’re all different in some way.” I have blue eyes, and my neighbor has green eyes.
I’m going to be really open with you today. I’m going to speak to you from the heart of a mom who sees her child facing rejection from other kids—and even adults—because he’s different, and not just because he has blue eyes while the kid next to him has green ones.
In my fight for the acceptance of difference, people often confuse my efforts to champion my children’s differences with a desire to “normalize” those differences. Because yes, ma’am, there is a “normal” and a “different” in our society. I don’t want my children to be normal. I simply want their differences to stop being stigmatized and for people to grasp the full beauty of autism. I simply want us, rather than trying to make them as “normal” as possible under the pretext of making them “functional,” to embrace them for who they are and at their own pace.
Because many of you comment on my posts telling me to stop labeling my children. Why? They’re autistic. It doesn’t define them—it’s part of the whole picture, sure—but why should I hide that word?
Because that word simply means they see life from a completely different perspective than the vast majority of us. Because that word brings significant developmental delays and, therefore, they have needs that are completely different from those of a child who follows their growth curve perfectly. Because that word means that lots of people we don’t know will intrude on our lives.
If we stopped pretending there’s no difference and instead embraced that difference, labels would stop being scary. The moms at the park might no longer tell their kids not to play with my son because he’s weird. Instead, they’d dare to tell their kids that it’s okay—this boy is simply different.
Because yes, a child with autism is different—very different—and that’s not a bad thing; it’s actually an absolutely wonderful thing. So let’s stop being afraid to use the word “different”!
Alexe AKA Maman Bleue