I think I can safely say that this has happened to all of us: Dad (or someone else) was trying his best to calm the baby, but as soon as Mom picked him up, the crying stopped right away. Then Dad’s pride took a hit. Does this sound familiar?
And then at family gatherings or when friends get together, when someone brings up that story or talks about ways to soothe a crying baby, people start chattering:
“Ah, there’s nothing like breasts to comfort a baby!”
“Well, yeah, of course you can calm him down—you smell like milk!”
And the guys pile on:
“If only I had breasts!”
“Is there some kind of gadget that would let us breastfeed?”
These are very harmless comments—there’s no malice behind them. But they’re a little (a lot) naive. And it still gets on my nerves. Because you already feel like a milk cow, in every sense of the word. No need to rub it in! All you do is feed your new little one. And people tell you he’s happy with you just because you’re feeding him?
Let me tell you: you’re more than just a pair of breasts to your child. You’re able to calm him down because he loves you. Well, yes. You’re his mom. I’m not saying he doesn’t love his dad or anyone else. But it was in your belly that he spent nine months. It was your voice that he heard most often, as soon as he was able to hear. It’s with you that he spends most of his time. You’re all he knows; you’re his only point of reference in this world that’s new to him. You’re HIS reassuring presence.
You’re not just a food source or a comfy pillow. If that were the case, any woman in the world could calm your baby. Or else women who wear size A wouldn’t be able to soothe their child’s crying. That doesn’t make sense. It’s not just your breasts that he loves.
That also means that even if you stop breastfeeding—or if you never even started—your child will still love you. You’ll still find it easier to comfort him.
Things will change, yes. He’ll open up to others soon. He’ll get to know the rest of the people around him. But in the meantime, don’t let anyone convince you that you’re just a pantry, a fridge, or a “Dairy Queen.” You’re his mom. Your baby loves you. 😉