We’re that couple. You know, the one that’s been together for ages. The couple that seems almost perfect on the surface. The couple that’s been faithful to each other for many years, and who—in the blink of an eye—bought a little house in the suburbs, adopted some four-legged friends, and then started a family. First one, then two, and then three little angels settled into the comfort of their nest. Adorable, smart, and sweet as can be.
We’re that couple who work hard to achieve our goals, to make sure our family has everything it needs, and to be able to treat ourselves to little pleasures whenever we feel like it. We have everything we need to be happy.
In everyone’s eyes, we’re an example, a role model. We’re successful, we lead a wonderful life, and we have every reason to be proud of our children. But don’t be fooled—our story is far from perfect. When the masks come off, the mirror reflects a rather dull image of us.
The truth is that the weight of the years has taken its toll on us. Somewhere along the way, between one achievement and the next, we’ve lost our way—as individuals and as a couple. Of course, we keep smiling; we play the part of the little family radiating perfect happiness so as not to contradict appearances. We stay strong and proud to show others—but perhaps also to convince ourselves—that life is beautiful, that everything is fine.
Between changing a diaper, dealing with a tantrum, putting a baby to sleep, giving a bath, preparing a meal, and starting a load of laundry, we’ve almost forgotten where it all began. The frantic pace of daily life and the mounting responsibilities have reduced us to mere working parents. Our days, weeks, months, and years have slowly come to be entirely devoted to work, household chores, and caring for our little ones.
But where have the man, the woman, and the couple in love gone in all of this? It seems they’ve been pushed aside, due to a lack of time, energy, or interest in nurturing them. We’ve forgotten to make time for ourselves, both individually and as a couple. We’ve even forgotten to talk to each other; our conversations have boiled down to arguments over our views on raising children or the division of household chores, and a few other trivial matters. Looking back, it’s a painful realization.
Yet, through thick and thin, we remain clinging to one another. More than once, we’ve asked ourselves why. Why keep struggling when nothing is going right anymore? For our family? To keep up appearances? No.
Perhaps because, deep down, we remember who we once were. We’re convinced that there’s always hope, and since we’re so good at putting on a show in front of others, it must be that a spark of connection still lingers within us.
By trying to explore too many paths in such a short time, we ended up losing our way. A pitfall along the way. In an age when love has become a disposable commodity, it would be all too easy to throw in the towel and move on to the next one.
Working on ourselves is a whole different story. Much more difficult, confrontational, and trying. Yet it’s probably a necessary step to experience true happiness. Because deep down, we know it’s still within our reach. All it takes is a little effort and time to reach it. Because even if our story isn’t perfect, it’s ours. The one we’ve built with so much effort. The one worth fighting for so it doesn’t fall apart.
Above all, because before letting it all go up in smoke, we need to make sure we’ve truly tried everything. And I’m certain that one day we’ll take off our masks, our smiles will be genuine, and we’ll remember why it all began in the first place.