You used to go shopping, see movies, and go out for lunch together. You talked every day, and to you, nothing could have foreshadowed that life would pull you apart. You’d known each other for so many years—it wasn’t even a question: you’d always be friends, no matter the distance or your studies… nothing could ever separate you. She’s always been there; she’s part of your life—why would she ever leave?
One day, you both fell in love. You went on dates as couples, and you kept seeing each other. Then, that famous second line appeared on your pregnancy test. Of course, she was happy for you; she wanted to know everything—she even cried. A few weeks went by without any word from her. And you? You’re dealing with it, but you’re on your own—she doesn’t even bother to ask if you’re okay. A simple “How are you?” No, it never comes.
So you stop trying to be the only one keeping your friendship alive. Then, little by little, nothing at all. You delete each other from your contacts; you no longer run into each other. This “soul sister” becomes just an acquaintance. When you see her in the distance behind her register at the grocery store, you go to the next one. When she walks into the restaurant where you work, she makes sure not to sit in your section. In short, you don’t want anything to do with each other anymore.
To you, the friend who disappears and doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. If I could tell you how much this hurts me, how inconceivable it is to me that you’re no longer there, I hope you’d understand. Just as I understand that what’s happening to me isn’t part of your plans—you’d rather still go out, act crazy, and live your life to the fullest. Know that I understand you, and I’ll wait until you’re ready—and I hope you’ll come back to me if you feel like it. If not, you’ll have been a beautiful memory.
To you, the mom-to-be who feels like she has the plague, know that even if they’re not there anymore, you’re not alone. Get closer to people who are going through the same thing as you. Find support groups for moms and keep moving forward with people who’ll help you if you don’t know how to cut your child’s little nails, who’ll talk to you about diapers and bottles, but most of all, who’ll understand your day-to-day life. They’re there for you and will always support you.
I know it can hurt to lose the person who’s been a part of your daily life since childhood, but a new chapter of your life is beginning, and you’ll find a way to welcome new people into it who are just as important.