I’ve always been slim—just like that, without doing anything. Having kids hasn’t changed that much. And yet, I can’t exactly say I have exemplary eating habits or a healthy lifestyle. Most of the time, I treat myself to whatever I want; I don’t count calories, and I certainly don’t follow dietary guidelines to the letter. I don’t necessarily exercise every day, even though I have two little whirlwinds under the age of 2! I’m well aware that I’m very lucky. Still, in a world where everyone feels the need to weigh in on just about everything, my little bit of happiness sometimes gets knocked around.
On a day-to-day basis, it’s really nice not to have to worry about my weight. I salute those who pay close attention to their diet and habits to maintain a healthy weight. I admire you, because I wish I had that discipline. I’m thin, yes, but I know full well that being underweight doesn’t necessarily mean you’re healthy. Well, for now I’m lucky that everything’s going well on that front too, but I don’t want to take anything for granted.
Let’s get back to the topic at hand. Throughout my pregnancies, I’ve had to put up with comments that were sometimes inappropriate. First of all, it’s worth noting that, from behind, no one could have guessed what was going on under my belly. You can probably imagine what came next:
“Hey, are you even eating?”
“You’re so tiny—your baby can’t be healthy!”
Not to mention the disapproving stares and the daggers that pierce you when you have the misfortune of talking about your weight or mentioning that you’ve gained weight. Your body strangely becomes public property that everyone feels free to comment on. But for you, it becomes a taboo subject… Don’t say a word, or expect to get torn apart.
You can’t quite figure out what’s driving these over-the-top reactions. It’s something halfway between jealousy, hatred, misunderstanding, and outright judgment.
I’ll let you guess that it’s the same old story all over again once the baby is born. No matter how much you shut them up with your beautiful, chubby, healthy baby, they’re quick to come up with other cutting remarks to better “attack” your assets.
So just 2–3 months after giving birth, I was back to my pre-pregnancy size. I’d even become a little slimmer. And as you can imagine, I did this without doing anything in particular. #People have taken great pleasure, time and again, in scrutinizing me from head to toe and pointing out that I didn’t look one bit like I’d just had a baby. Every time, I’m not quite sure how to respond. The tone is perplexing. Once again, it’s somewhere between a compliment and a criticism. If I say I don’t deserve any credit, I sound pretentious. If I simply say thank you, I seem to be prioritizing weight loss over health. If I say that’s just how I’m built and that it’s not necessarily what I want, people think I’m sick and/or neglectful.
We often talk about the physical changes brought on by motherhood. But we talk a little less about the changes that don’t happen. When in reality, they’re just as heavily criticized…
Can we please just leave women’s bodies alone? After all, we already worry enough as it is. No need to add your two cents to the mix. You’re a beautiful woman, regardless of the marks—or lack thereof—left by your babies!